Updated: Dec 10, 2019
I guess all of us have asked ourselves this question at some time in our lives. I know I have on a number of occasions,throughout my life. It seems that it was always when I felt cornered by life, that crushing feeling that there was no way out. This was not an unusual place for me to be, due to my addictions and a lifestyle that was based on a survival mentality. Resilience is a prerequisite of survival in addiction and so I could usually drag myself out of it somehow, until the next crisis but I can remember those times when I woke up in a police cell or worse still a prison cell! Lots of people had told me that "once an addict always an addict" and this is how my life was always going to be. I was beginning to believe them and looking at prison as just an occupational hazard.Thank God this was a lie! and eventually I found a way to get clean with the help of people who still loved me but even in recovery I was asking the question " why am I here" don't get me wrong, I was unbelievably grateful to be clean but there was a lot of unanswered questions for me and a lot more work to do on myself. I was spending a lot of time reflecting if I was too late for me? No it wasn't all I needed to do is draw on the resilience we all have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I wonder how many people have even took the time to ask themselves the question If we don't overcome the fears that keep us trapped and learn to live life from a place of love we will always be asking the same questions about life. I realised that my life was full of fear. I had the fears I had experienced from my past and then the future did't look too rosy. I only had to pick a news paper up or look at the news.
We were only born with two fears, the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises, everything else is learned. The problem is the majority of those learned fears are causing us real harm and preventing us becoming the best versions of ourselves.
I think the real breakthrough for me was when I began to study the” Law of Attraction” and tried to understand enough of Quantum Physics to make some sort of sense out of it. Eventually I came to realised that my thoughts create my reality and that therefore I had to take full responsibility for what was in my life! Well to say the least that was a bitter pill to swallow but I knew in my heart it was true.We are vibrant, creative, intelligent beings living in a sea of infinite possibilities.
From that point on I have made a decision to take full responsibility for my life, that is emotionally, physically and spiritually. The biggest breakthrough, without a doubt was when I found a technique called Emotional Freedom Technique and resolved my past childhood traumas. This is when my life really started to transform.
This transformation is not without pain but not as painful as trying to avoid it and although we might be tempted to take the route of least resistance, every time we do we are steering away from our destiny, our happiness, our creative selves, our freedom. Our reason for being here. When we begin to see how beautiful life is and that we live in a world of infinite possibilities we begin to experience gratitude and feel love, which in turn allows to act in more loving ways to others.
When we are transformed from what we have become into what we were supposed to be in the first place, our true selves, before we took on the thoughts and beliefs of other people, such as parents, teachers, friends and colleagues, before that we were perfect. Michael Neill in his book (The Inside Out Revolution) describes this transformation as “A return to Original Grace”. removing all the fears we have accumulated over the years from other people.
Inside every one of us is this yearning to be our authentic selves. Of course it might be difficult or painful after all we are changing the habits of a lifetime, but these are only labour pains, we are in the throes of a new birth of infinite possibilities!
We have a choice, of course we have a choice. Do we choose to take the route of least resistance and remain living a half-life making the same mistakes and expecting a different result? where we can remain thinking we are some sort of victim of circumstance. Or do we make a decision to become co-creators of our own lives. Letting go and clearing all the negative beliefs and thoughts that have imprisoned us for so long.
We are here to first create a better life for ourselves and then we help other people to do the same. I believe we are on this earth to help each other and we have lost our way. The thing is if we don't clear our own rubbish out of the way we can't help anyone else, it will get in the way. A lot of people played a part in where I am today. Thank you. I am truly Blessed.